Saturday, March 31, 2012

Trucker Speak

A trucker came into a truck stop cafe and placed his order. He said, "I want three flat tires, a pair of headlights and pair of running boards."

The brand new blonde waitress, not wanting to appear stupid, went to the kitchen and said to the cook, "This guy out there just ordered three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards.What does he think this place is, an auto parts store?"

"No," the cook said. "Three flat tires mean three pancakes, a pair of headlights is two eggs sunny side up, and running boards are 2 slices of crisp bacon."

"Oh, OK!" said the blonde. She thought about it for a moment and then spooned up a bowl of beans and gave it to the customer.

The trucker asked, "What are the beans for, Blondie?"

She replied, "I thought while you were waiting for the flat tires, headlights and running boards, you might as well gas up

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

I Like Work

Apologizing

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Advantages of a GUN over a WIFE

  1. You can trade an old 44 for a new 22.

  2. You can keep one gun at home and have another for when you're on the road.

  3. If you admire a friend's gun and tell him so, he will probably let you try it out a few times.

  4. Your primary gun doesn't mind if you keep another gun for a backup.

  5. Your gun will stay with you even if you run out of ammo.

  6. A gun doesn't take up a lot of closet space.

  7. Guns function normally every day of the month.

  8. A gun doesn't ask, "Do these new grips make me look fat?"

  9. A gun doesn't mind if you go to sleep after you use it.

  10. You can buy a silencer for a gun

My Top 500 Empire Kred Shareholders - 15th July 2017

BOOKMARK THIS PAGE AS IT WILL BE UPDATED!

Last updated 15th July 2017. Previous update 4th March 2016

The more you invest in (e)SYDESJOKES on Empire Kred the higher you will be on the next list update. I am also now taking account of how people interact with me on twitter. This means if you are maxed out on Empire Kred but you retweet and mention me on twitter you can still move up the table. I will count each tweet as if they were 3 additional shares on Empire Kred.

Follow me on Twitter @SydesJokes

Lets connect on my other Social Media networks

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  157. Invest in --> (e)PRESSENET (Down 12) [Tweet This]
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  180. Invest in --> (e)QBIX (Up 11) [Tweet This]
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  192. Invest in --> (e)OLOMAN (Down 22) [Tweet This]
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  202. Invest in --> (e)SDK002 (Down 21) [Tweet This]
  203. Invest in --> (e)QUANTUM1 (Down 18) [Tweet This]
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  212. Invest in --> (e)BOUCHAC (Up 46) [Tweet This]
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  219. Invest in --> (e)JAYHOQUE (New Entry) [Tweet This]
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  222. Invest in --> (e)RIS (Down 6) [Tweet This]
  223. Invest in --> (e)TNERLAU (Down 14) [Tweet This]
  224. Invest in --> (e)OPAJDARA (Down 23) [Tweet This]
  225. Invest in --> (e)CHRISPMS (New Entry) [Tweet This]
  226. Invest in --> (e)CHRISTER (Up 36) [Tweet This]
  227. Invest in --> (e)TLG (Up 19) [Tweet This]
  228. Invest in --> (e)TXMOM (Up 32) [Tweet This]
  229. Invest in --> (e)BLUESBRO (Down 27) [Tweet This]
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  231. Invest in --> (e)TIMEGATES001 (Up 22) [Tweet This]
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  233. Invest in --> (e)TELEPHONE (Up 51) [Tweet This]
  234. Invest in --> (e)RRE (Up 71) [Tweet This]
  235. Invest in --> (e)H2OOO (Up 28) [Tweet This]
  236. Invest in --> (e)HANNIGAN (Up 174) [Tweet This]
  237. Invest in --> (e)THEBEYERS (Up 15) [Tweet This]
  238. Invest in --> (e)PAULTAKEUCHI (Up 243) [Tweet This]
  239. Invest in --> (e)ZARATHUSTRA (Down 29) [Tweet This]
  240. Invest in --> (e)NETHEAD (Down 15) [Tweet This]
  241. Invest in --> (e)ZED (New Entry) [Tweet This]
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  246. Invest in --> (e)MIKUE (Down 10) [Tweet This]
  247. Invest in --> (e)EBONSON (Down 51) [Tweet This]
  248. Invest in --> (e)MOLLEEMARCUS (Up 100) [Tweet This]
  249. Invest in --> (e)ORGANICHAT (Down 50) [Tweet This]
  250. Invest in --> (e)PHOTOPUZZLE (Up 227) [Tweet This]
  251. Invest in --> (e)STARKCNTYOH (Down 51) [Tweet This]
  252. Invest in --> (e)BABFARI (Down 24) [Tweet This]
  253. Invest in --> (e)WKP (Down 16) [Tweet This]
  254. Invest in --> (e)12FLAT (Down 42) [Tweet This]
  255. Invest in --> (e)7PILLARSBOOK (Up 85) [Tweet This]
  256. Invest in --> (e)CALIBREBC (Down 24) [Tweet This]
  257. Invest in --> (e)DANMURRAY (Up 105) [Tweet This]
  258. Invest in --> (e)EJC (Up 22) [Tweet This]
  259. Invest in --> (e)PBB (Down 17) [Tweet This]
  260. Invest in --> (e)GREGGARDINER (Up 63) [Tweet This]
  261. Invest in --> (e)TERILG (Down 44) [Tweet This]
  262. Invest in --> (e)ROBERTZ (Down 49) [Tweet This]
  263. Invest in --> (e)CITYCAR (Up 47) [Tweet This]
  264. Invest in --> (e)DILLONRHODES (Down 49) [Tweet This]
  265. Invest in --> (e)JECKMANS (Down 1) [Tweet This]
  266. Invest in --> (e)LENSATHER (Up 4) [Tweet This]
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  269. Invest in --> (e)VISUALRIOT (Down 21) [Tweet This]
  270. Invest in --> (e)TECHNOZEAST (Down 51) [Tweet This]
  271. Invest in --> (e)IHTISHAMKHAN (Down 51) [Tweet This]
  272. Invest in --> (e)COGNITUNE (Up 6) [Tweet This]
  273. Invest in --> (e)FORTRESS (Down 52) [Tweet This]
  274. Invest in --> (e)PUZZLE (Up 122) [Tweet This]
  275. Invest in --> (e)LOANS (Down 51) [Tweet This]
  276. Invest in --> (e)BERKESCH (New Entry) [Tweet This]
  277. Invest in --> (e)GOLDEN (Down 48) [Tweet This]
  278. Invest in --> (e)SFHARPER (Up 89) [Tweet This]
  279. Invest in --> (e)DREAMSPIDER (New Entry) [Tweet This]
  280. Invest in --> (e)LENAPPLE (Up 39) [Tweet This]
  281. Invest in --> (e)ME1ODY (Down 10) [Tweet This]
  282. Invest in --> (e)SAITO (Down 56) [Tweet This]
  283. Invest in --> (e)SEBAB (Up 30) [Tweet This]
  284. Invest in --> (e)USAFA93 (Up 31) [Tweet This]
  285. Invest in --> (e)VILEPOETRY (Up 1) [Tweet This]
  286. Invest in --> (e)CLAYTONJ (Up 89) [Tweet This]
  287. Invest in --> (e)ANEMOSGROUP (New Entry) [Tweet This]
  288. Invest in --> (e)JAPANHEALTH (Down 32) [Tweet This]
  289. Invest in --> (e)ALFREDTWO (Down 2) [Tweet This]
  290. Invest in --> (e)KAVALONTHATS (Down 55) [Tweet This]
  291. Invest in --> (e)AZHARI (Up 29) [Tweet This]
  292. Invest in --> (e)HECHELN (New Entry) [Tweet This]
  293. Invest in --> (e)INSZENARIO (Up 54) [Tweet This]
  294. Invest in --> (e)JONAK (Down 61) [Tweet This]
  295. Invest in --> (e)ptclimited (Down 50) [Tweet This]
  296. Invest in --> (e)TOTTO (New Entry) [Tweet This]
  297. Invest in --> (e)MRBILL01 (Up 34) [Tweet This]
  298. Invest in --> (e)MARFORRES (Up 198) [Tweet This]
  299. Invest in --> (e)TESAHE (Down 61) [Tweet This]
  300. Invest in --> (e)JOEJOEKEYS (Down 61) [Tweet This]
  301. Invest in --> (e)SRIFER (Down 58) [Tweet This]
  302. Invest in --> (e)ERICHEARN (Down 34) [Tweet This]
  303. Invest in --> (e)KRYSTALWOMAN (Down 28) [Tweet This]
  304. Invest in --> (e)JOSUECORNIER (Down 1) [Tweet This]
  305. Invest in --> (e)CARLEASING (Down 12) [Tweet This]
  306. Invest in --> (e)LOVETREES (Down 57) [Tweet This]
  307. Invest in --> (e)MIKET (Up 5) [Tweet This]
  308. Invest in --> (e)PILGRIMTRVLR (Down 57) [Tweet This]
  309. Invest in --> (e)YOSHUADAELY (Up 63) [Tweet This]
  310. Invest in --> (e)DISIMIC (Down 51) [Tweet This]
  311. Invest in --> (e)ITSOCIALIZE (Down 37) [Tweet This]
  312. Invest in --> (e)PLUMPI (Down 57) [Tweet This]
  313. Invest in --> (e)TRAININGFEST (Up 63) [Tweet This]
  314. Invest in --> (e)TOMLAING (Up 165) [Tweet This]
  315. Invest in --> (e)LEARNEDWORDS (Down 58) [Tweet This]
  316. Invest in --> (e)JAMESMEYER (Down 7) [Tweet This]
  317. Invest in --> (e)BYR (Down 56) [Tweet This]
  318. Invest in --> (e)KORNELIASAN (Down 49) [Tweet This]
  319. Invest in --> (e)ONNEBTK (Down 46) [Tweet This]
  320. Invest in --> (e)VOLKY (Down 4) [Tweet This]
  321. Invest in --> (e)BARRADAO (Down 49) [Tweet This]
  322. Invest in --> (e)BECKYTENGWAL (New Entry) [Tweet This]
  323. Invest in --> (e)KVVINTO (Down 57) [Tweet This]
  324. Invest in --> (e)GUDGIN (Down 59) [Tweet This]
  325. Invest in --> (e)ALBERTOM (Down 49) [Tweet This]
  326. Invest in --> (e)BIZGENIUS (Up 79) [Tweet This]
  327. Invest in --> (e)DOMINOCEAN (Down 16) [Tweet This]
  328. Invest in --> (e)DRAH (New Entry) [Tweet This]
  329. Invest in --> (e)FILMIO (Down 1) [Tweet This]
  330. Invest in --> (e)FOTOGRAFIE (Down 35) [Tweet This]
  331. Invest in --> (e)FRACKINGNEWS (Up 166) [Tweet This]
  332. Invest in --> (e)NKEDEM (Up 63) [Tweet This]
  333. Invest in --> (e)TEAMBUILDING (Up 1) [Tweet This]
  334. Invest in --> (e)GLENMICHAEL (Down 30) [Tweet This]
  335. Invest in --> (e)DBHIATT2 (Up 2) [Tweet This]
  336. Invest in --> (e)TAMMIKIBLER (Up 2) [Tweet This]
  337. Invest in --> (e)7MIRRORS (Up 22) [Tweet This]
  338. Invest in --> (e)BAZ (Up 6) [Tweet This]
  339. Invest in --> (e)CONFLUENCE (Down 60) [Tweet This]
  340. Invest in --> (e)DAYTRADER (Down 13) [Tweet This]
  341. Invest in --> (e)ERINBOYKIN (Down 60) [Tweet This]
  342. Invest in --> (e)MALUZA (Down 59) [Tweet This]
  343. Invest in --> (e)STRATLEARNER (Up 76) [Tweet This]
  344. Invest in --> (e)THISISSPAIN (Up 115) [Tweet This]
  345. Invest in --> (e)TIXSIX (Down 44) [Tweet This]
  346. Invest in --> (e)TUX191 (Down 61) [Tweet This]
  347. Invest in --> (e)VIEWBM (Up 22) [Tweet This]
  348. Invest in --> (e)DANIBACHMANN (Up 26) [Tweet This]
  349. Invest in --> (e)PAWMARKS (Down 61) [Tweet This]
  350. Invest in --> (e)WILSONCHENG (Down 61) [Tweet This]
  351. Invest in --> (e)SCLOHO (Down 44) [Tweet This]
  352. Invest in --> (e)ABCHEIKH (Down 62) [Tweet This]
  353. Invest in --> (e)HLEICHENRING (Down 51) [Tweet This]
  354. Invest in --> (e)TAG64 (Down 63) [Tweet This]
  355. Invest in --> (e)BRYANMURPHY (Down 29) [Tweet This]
  356. Invest in --> (e)CCAST (New Entry) [Tweet This]
  357. Invest in --> (e)CHAOSCAT (Up 76) [Tweet This]
  358. Invest in --> (e)HERTSIFA (Up 83) [Tweet This]
  359. Invest in --> (e)JKB1964 (Up 85) [Tweet This]
  360. Invest in --> (e)KNIKKOLETTE (Down 63) [Tweet This]
  361. Invest in --> (e)MARCOME (Down 63) [Tweet This]
  362. Invest in --> (e)REDBUOY (Down 63) [Tweet This]
  363. Invest in --> (e)RIDEXC (Up 92) [Tweet This]
  364. Invest in --> (e)URBUDDHA2ME (Down 13) [Tweet This]
  365. Invest in --> (e)MUGECERMAN (New Entry) [Tweet This]
  366. Invest in --> (e)DESIGNIEURE (New Entry) [Tweet This]
  367. Invest in --> (e)6SECS4PEACE (Down 42) [Tweet This]
  368. Invest in --> (e)AAD (Up 12) [Tweet This]
  369. Invest in --> (e)BEN (Down 24) [Tweet This]
  370. Invest in --> (e)DUANE (Down 7) [Tweet This]
  371. Invest in --> (e)GUTZYWOMAN (Up 69) [Tweet This]
  372. Invest in --> (e)HRHYMES (Up 20) [Tweet This]
  373. Invest in --> (e)INSPIRATIOND (Up 112) [Tweet This]
  374. Invest in --> (e)JOINTCC (Up 19) [Tweet This]
  375. Invest in --> (e)MARKETKING (New Entry) [Tweet This]
  376. Invest in --> (e)SEOFTMYERS (Up 81) [Tweet This]
  377. Invest in --> (e)TOBEYDEYS (Down 63) [Tweet This]
  378. Invest in --> (e)WEBTOOLSWIKI (Down 8) [Tweet This]
  379. Invest in --> (e)HERSCHBERG (Down 61) [Tweet This]
  380. Invest in --> (e)MLOPEZ (Down 59) [Tweet This]
  381. Invest in --> (e)TAHOE58 (Down 42) [Tweet This]
  382. Invest in --> (e)EXHIBIA (Down 58) [Tweet This]
  383. Invest in --> (e)AIVOVAURIO (Up 44) [Tweet This]
  384. Invest in --> (e)CMANNING (Up 1) [Tweet This]
  385. Invest in --> (e)DAVIDALANLUX (Up 3) [Tweet This]
  386. Invest in --> (e)EMILY12 (Down 22) [Tweet This]
  387. Invest in --> (e)EVALDAZ (Up 21) [Tweet This]
  388. Invest in --> (e)GABEFLORES (Down 59) [Tweet This]
  389. Invest in --> (e)INKBOTDESIGN (Down 59) [Tweet This]
  390. Invest in --> (e)JUAN69 (Up 82) [Tweet This]
  391. Invest in --> (e)KIVILUOMA52 (Up 55) [Tweet This]
  392. Invest in --> (e)NADINEHACK (Up 57) [Tweet This]
  393. Invest in --> (e)SARIN (Up 85) [Tweet This]
  394. Invest in --> (e)SCOTTALLEN (Up 62) [Tweet This]
  395. Invest in --> (e)SUPPORTSYS (Down 62) [Tweet This]
  396. Invest in --> (e)TPR2 (Down 61) [Tweet This]
  397. Invest in --> (e)BBONTW (Down 61) [Tweet This]
  398. Invest in --> (e)CLUTTERBELLS (Down 46) [Tweet This]
  399. Invest in --> (e)HARRYIDB (Down 26) [Tweet This]
  400. Invest in --> (e)MINGJONG (Down 59) [Tweet This]
  401. Invest in --> (e)BACONMAN (Down 59) [Tweet This]
  402. Invest in --> (e)BANGGOWES (Down 59) [Tweet This]
  403. Invest in --> (e)CIDERMAKER (New Entry) [Tweet This]
  404. Invest in --> (e)HELENSSTUDIO (Down 58) [Tweet This]
  405. Invest in --> (e)ITGURU (Up 8) [Tweet This]
  406. Invest in --> (e)JKLFA (New Entry) [Tweet This]
  407. Invest in --> (e)MAMACHINIMA (New Entry) [Tweet This]
  408. Invest in --> (e)MICHAELSIM (Up 54) [Tweet This]
  409. Invest in --> (e)REXCO (Down 59) [Tweet This]
  410. Invest in --> (e)TGR (Down 42) [Tweet This]
  411. Invest in --> (e)TRWINDOWS (New Entry) [Tweet This]
  412. Invest in --> (e)MAGICWORDS (Down 57) [Tweet This]
  413. Invest in --> (e)RAPHAELLOVE (Down 60) [Tweet This]
  414. Invest in --> (e)SAVESGU (Down 58) [Tweet This]
  415. Invest in --> (e)IQARTGALLERY (Down 57) [Tweet This]
  416. Invest in --> (e)WEBTOOLSNEWS (Up 6) [Tweet This]
  417. Invest in --> (e)AUREATE (Down 57) [Tweet This]
  418. Invest in --> (e)BCFC (Down 35) [Tweet This]
  419. Invest in --> (e)COLINTWPG (Down 58) [Tweet This]
  420. Invest in --> (e)EKWIKI (Down 31) [Tweet This]
  421. Invest in --> (e)FENYA (Down 56) [Tweet This]
  422. Invest in --> (e)GN00B (Down 31) [Tweet This]
  423. Invest in --> (e)HELSINKI (New Entry) [Tweet This]
  424. Invest in --> (e)KELLY (Down 58) [Tweet This]
  425. Invest in --> (e)LIONMAHESH (Down 31) [Tweet This]
  426. Invest in --> (e)NEWSJ44 (New Entry) [Tweet This]
  427. Invest in --> (e)PROVIDELEADS (New Entry) [Tweet This]
  428. Invest in --> (e)VARATIKI (Up 32) [Tweet This]
  429. Invest in --> (e)WDAVIES (Up 32) [Tweet This]
  430. Invest in --> (e)WESWYATT (Down 59) [Tweet This]
  431. Invest in --> (e)NABUCO (Down 8) [Tweet This]
  432. Invest in --> (e)MARKREYNOLDS (Down 55) [Tweet This]
  433. Invest in --> (e)DLAP (Down 12) [Tweet This]
  434. Invest in --> (e)TEECEE (Down 55) [Tweet This]
  435. Invest in --> (e)DABUZZ (New Entry) [Tweet This]
  436. Invest in --> (e)AIRGEADAIS (Down 10) [Tweet This]
  437. Invest in --> (e)ALIG (Up 29) [Tweet This]
  438. Invest in --> (e)ALLIEISWIRED (Down 57) [Tweet This]
  439. Invest in --> (e)AMALIKAMRIOU (Down 38) [Tweet This]
  440. Invest in --> (e)ANGELIKA (Down 58) [Tweet This]
  441. Invest in --> (e)APACARADA (Down 13) [Tweet This]
  442. Invest in --> (e)ATTORNEYRANK (Down 40) [Tweet This]
  443. Invest in --> (e)AVENUEIO (Up 24) [Tweet This]
  444. Invest in --> (e)BOXERSIGN (Down 60) [Tweet This]
  445. Invest in --> (e)CHRISBEAU (New Entry) [Tweet This]
  446. Invest in --> (e)CLINTBUTLER (Down 12) [Tweet This]
  447. Invest in --> (e)CRUDE (Down 61) [Tweet This]
  448. Invest in --> (e)CYNDEEHAYDON (Down 61) [Tweet This]
  449. Invest in --> (e)DRDAVD (Up 19) [Tweet This]
  450. Invest in --> (e)ERNIEJACKO (Up 20) [Tweet This]
  451. Invest in --> (e)FAIRMINDER (Down 61) [Tweet This]
  452. Invest in --> (e)FUTURES (Up 46) [Tweet This]
  453. Invest in --> (e)GAMERZ (New Entry) [Tweet This]
  454. Invest in --> (e)GR8IDEA (Down 45) [Tweet This]
  455. Invest in --> (e)HENNINGV (Down 44) [Tweet This]
  456. Invest in --> (e)LUCAGIUMAN (New Entry) [Tweet This]
  457. Invest in --> (e)MARXKILLER (Up 30) [Tweet This]
  458. Invest in --> (e)MATHSCIENCE (New Entry) [Tweet This]
  459. Invest in --> (e)MEDIUM (Down 45) [Tweet This]
  460. Invest in --> (e)PAMRUMER (Down 45) [Tweet This]
  461. Invest in --> (e)R2RM (Up 13) [Tweet This]
  462. Invest in --> (e)RAYHOWE (Down 65) [Tweet This]
  463. Invest in --> (e)SOCIALPOSH (Down 45) [Tweet This]
  464. Invest in --> (e)THERADICAL (New Entry) [Tweet This]
  465. Invest in --> (e)VOGUE (Down 45) [Tweet This]
  466. Invest in --> (e)MSHEROW (New Entry) [Tweet This]
  467. Invest in --> (e)MICHAELCOHAN (Down 68) [Tweet This]
  468. Invest in --> (e)CYBERFLIER (Up 25) [Tweet This]
  469. Invest in --> (e)MIKEKINCAID (Down 69) [Tweet This]
  470. Invest in --> (e)ACLP (Down 5) [Tweet This]
  471. Invest in --> (e)BERRY (Down 68) [Tweet This]
  472. Invest in --> (e)BITREBELS (Down 68) [Tweet This]
  473. Invest in --> (e)CODEWIENIE (Down 67) [Tweet This]
  474. Invest in --> (e)COMMERCIAL (Down 67) [Tweet This]
  475. Invest in --> (e)DSUSA (Down 39) [Tweet This]
  476. Invest in --> (e)DXB773 (Down 39) [Tweet This]
  477. Invest in --> (e)ICTICON (Down 65) [Tweet This]
  478. Invest in --> (e)MRILEY (Up 10) [Tweet This]
  479. Invest in --> (e)PIERCEPUB (New Entry) [Tweet This]
  480. Invest in --> (e)PWND (Down 64) [Tweet This]
  481. Invest in --> (e)REVIER (Down 64) [Tweet This]
  482. Invest in --> (e)KSDWONG (New Entry) [Tweet This]
  483. Invest in --> (e)DJDANIEL150 (Down 19) [Tweet This]
  484. Invest in --> (e)FAMOUS4QUOTE (Down 60) [Tweet This]
  485. Invest in --> (e)KNOWNETMONEY (Down 60) [Tweet This]
  486. Invest in --> (e)AMPRODS (New Entry) [Tweet This]
  487. Invest in --> (e)ATPACC (Down 58) [Tweet This]
  488. Invest in --> (e)BIGALMLM (Down 58) [Tweet This]
  489. Invest in --> (e)CATSTATEGARY (Down 58) [Tweet This]
  490. Invest in --> (e)CCONNOLLY (Down 58) [Tweet This]
  491. Invest in --> (e)DELUXEVIDEO (New Entry) [Tweet This]
  492. Invest in --> (e)DIGITALEYE (Down 57) [Tweet This]
  493. Invest in --> (e)DRDAVIDDUGAN (Down 24) [Tweet This]
  494. Invest in --> (e)FISHINGKEV (Down 56) [Tweet This]
  495. Invest in --> (e)GIRDY (Down 56) [Tweet This]
  496. Invest in --> (e)INTSWE (Down 54) [Tweet This]
  497. Invest in --> (e)JHACK (Down 54) [Tweet This]
  498. Invest in --> (e)JUHA (New Entry) [Tweet This]
  499. Invest in --> (e)JWHE (Down 54) [Tweet This]
  500. Invest in --> (e)LKL (Down 53) [Tweet This]


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