Friday, November 25, 2016

Charlie Chaplin



Charlie Chaplin

Change is never painful



Change is never painful

Sex in the back seat of the car

Jeff meets Doug at the bar after work. Doug is really upset.

"What's wrong pal?" Jeff asked. "You look really down."

"I am. My wife said she wants to have sex in the back seat of the car"
Doug replied.

"So what's wrong with that?" Jeff asked, seeming somewhat confused.


"Well," Doug sighs, "She said she wants me to be the one driving the car".

Sex in the back seat of the car

Jeff meets Doug at the bar after work. Doug is really upset.

"What's wrong pal?" Jeff asked. "You look really down."

"I am. My wife said she wants to have sex in the back seat of the car"
Doug replied.

"So what's wrong with that?" Jeff asked, seeming somewhat confused.


"Well," Doug sighs, "She said she wants me to be the one driving the car".

Elderly couple

An elderly couple was driving across the country. While the woman was behind the wheel, the couple was pulled over by the highway patrol.

"Ma'am, did you know you were speeding?" the officer said.

The woman, hard of hearing, turned to her husband and asked, "What did he say?"

"He said you were speeding!" the old man yelled.

The patrolman then asked, "May I see your license?"

The woman turned to her husband again, "What did he say?"

The old man yelled back, "He wants to see your license!" The woman then gave the officer her license.

"I see you are from Arkansas," the patrolman said. "I spent some time there once and went on a blind date with the ugliest woman I've ever seen."

The woman turned to her husband again and asked, "What did he say?"

The old man replied, "He said he knows you!"





A person who feels appreciated



A person who feels appreciated

5 things you can’t recover in life



5 things you can’t recover in life

Thursday, November 24, 2016

You’re going to hell



You’re going to hell

One cup of coffee per day



One cup of coffee per day

Things That Sound Dirty At Thanksgiving But Aren't

  1. Just spread the legs open and stuff it in.

  2. How many are coming?

  3. Just lay back and take it easy I'll do the rest.

  4. Are you ready for seconds yet?

  5. I didn't expect everyone to come at once!

  6. That's the biggest one I've ever seen!

  7. Use a nice smooth stroke when you whip it.

  8. How long will it take after you stick it in?

  9. How long do I beat it before it's ready?

  10. Are you going to come again next time?

  11. It's a little dry. Do you still want to eat it?

  12. Just wait your turn. You'll get some!

  13. Don't play with your meat!

  14. Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once?

  15. You still have a little bit on your chin.

  16. You'll know it's ready when it pops up.

  17. Wow, I didn't think I could handle all of that!

  18. Just reach in and grab the giblets.

  19. Whew...that's one terrific spread!

  20. I am in the mood for a little dark meat.

  21. Tying the legs together will keep the inside moist.

  22. Talk about a HUGE breast!

  23. And he forces his way into the end zone!

  24. She's 5000 pounds fully inflated and it takes 15 men to hold her down.

  25. It's cool whip time!

  26. If I don't unbutton my pants, I am going to burst!

  27. It must be broken 'cause when I push on the tip, nothing squirts out.

America’s message to the world



America’s message to the world

That moment



That moment